CHRIST THE LORD;;my saviour

Thursday, June 23, 2011

forgotten

okay, i guess i havent blogged in a while. the usual reasons, too busy, too lazy and when i have smth to blog abt i'm too tired. when i dun i feel like blogging but i dun really think there is a point since i think no body really reads my blog.

so, forgotten. not that i forgot my blog or anything- i still visit it from time to time to see who the hell visits. hahaha. okay. i know candice visits my blog. but i think only her. haha. i think cause she blog hops an i'm so honoured she still checks up on my blog. hahaha. but like if i dun blog i know ppl stop checking so its fine to post this? :D hahahahaha.

idk why, i never ever get to keep a best friend. i have had many best friends and many close friends. almost every year i realised my best friend changes. given now i dun go school cause its holidays, i dun have a consistent best friend. i could list them all out actually. some were even best friends at different points of time. not even the whole year.

i dont remember primary 4 and below but i can still say a few names-
before everything probably sean.
primary 4 and 5: janice, yi lian and lijun
primary 5 to 6: calysta and olivia
sec 1: sean, nick, yiren, dora, dawn
sec2: sean, nick, charis, wenliang, weijing, yizhen, xinyi
sec3: sean nick yizhen xinyi weijing juntian yuxiu
sec4: juntian yuxiu sean nick weijing
J1: jeannette ziyi prissy dora candice kerin
J2: jeannette ziyi

idk, i think mostly sean is my consistent friend who i can rely on. but then again we are both busy w our own lives. but he is there for me whenever i need him.

i know i have ziyi, but i sometimes i wished i had this consistent best friend w me all the while. like jeannette has this best friend from sec sch that she alw meets up and etc. i think last time i was alwthe person who organised outings and was the person who just asked occasionally "hey, whatcha up to recently?" but i just got tired along the way i guess. like i stopped trying. and none of my friends bothered to pick up the pieces i think. i alw felt i'm somehow the person that keeps trying. and when i get tired i kinda give up. so i guess now i have like many friends who know so much abt me. bits and pieces of me everywhere. and i loved every single person that i gave a bit of myself to.

but maybe thats why ppl dun really care for shit after a while. haha. most ppl i get close to alw tell me they feel safer w me around. like when they are gonna do smth big i'm the person to go to for safety net. idk why. somebody pls tell me why i let you feel safe?!

idk la, maybe i'm just ranting or maybe somehow in my happy jovial side there is this dark sad emo side that feels dejected and forgotten. i dun really understand how some of my friends can simply just leave me out. but i guess thats what i am, the touch and go friend and to them i'll alw be this friend that was there for them.

maybe it is good in a sense? i found what my use is on earth. one of my talents given by God is the fact that i give ppl support when they need it? but i still feel quite forgotten and rejected sometimes. like sometimes i will see smth on fb den click it den realised they forgot me, or just assumed i was busy or just didnt bother asking. den i'll be like "haiyo... again...." den i'll click the photo and comment "oh! hahaha. so funny! when was this!!!!"

:( but i shouldnt be complaining right, given i have ziyi <3
but even w a boyfriend i believe in having a balanced life w my outside friends and his friends. so i really dun appreciate having a life w just him alone. i mean i like it but i rather i had a balanced life w my friends right. AIYA. dunno la. maybe its just a phase. but i just know i feel kinda forgotten by my friends sometimes casue like i have experienced incidences when i'm right in front of them and they like never see me. that is just to my face whatthhell. den i still have to go like " HEYYY!!! :D" w a big fat smile. but like whatthehell.

AIYA. FORGET ME LA. AT LEAST I STILL GOT ZIYI.

but like i said b4, when i leave a peice of me w you, i hope you at least treat me w a bit of respect even if you forgot me and left me out. at least treat me like a normal human being not ignore my presence right. grahhh. whatever.

Monday, January 31, 2011

its been a long time!

okay! ever since weiling's party my lovely blogging friends came over and told me my blog is dead! which is true! so.. i'm here to blog since i cant really use the excuse "i havent got the time" anymore. hahaha. and also since tv is showing stuff i have seen ALR! so i'm kinda bored until prissy comes over! hahahha :D

anyways! i just called my sec sch regarding the job vacancy again. NO VACANCY! grahhhh. i dun want to blame MCYS for this but it kinda is their fault. for those of you who knows whats going on recently for me is that i'm looking for a job lor. den i was praying for a job! like praying for a while! cause i dun wanna work just for money! but i want a job reallly soon! so it was either relirf teaching or this job- doing social media stuff in MCYS regarding presidents' challenge.

i got to know of this job through one of the girl's in girl's group, Hui Hui who works in MCYS and her colleague working on the presidents' challenge needed someone to do social media stuff cause he just left. so i actually had this offer from MCYS last last last wed i think. after i contacted with the MCYS person in charge of the department, it was like friday-ish? den by the next week they called me for a phone interview which went really well. den they called me and told methat i had a pretty good chance and they'll get back to me on monday.

den on monday, they called and said they needed two more days and they even told me that i stil had a very good chance and that try not to take the other job! den my friend who was working in the school wrote on my FB wall and ask me to call cause got vacancy! so it was very GRAHHHHHHHHH. but if i take the MCYS jod, i'll have more job experience la. but relief teaching slots come and goes so QUICKLY! SO HOW!

den wed they didnt call me. i was like omg, i should have just called the sec school. den thurs, Hui Hui called and told me they needed mopre time, cause all of a sudden got a lot of applicants i think (which i think is whatever) den they need more time. so i was like whatthehell. so by then it was fri and i went to the zoo so cannot call cause i dun have the number. so today i called the sch and they say no vacancy. LIKE SERIOUSLY, WHATTHEHELL.

SIGH. SUCKS IS MY LIFE.
anyway, at was weiling's birthday party! we had a sleepover and nicole came over too! hahahaha. eugene, peiyu, yiai, joel and ziyi slept over :D
YAY! ziyi :D YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY :D

anyway, so today i'm just like very sian cause i dun think MCYS is gonna call and there is no vacancy in sch and the relief teacher application thing on MOE hasnt been approved. i kinda wonder if it is EVER gonna be approved. and idk what to do know. i'm like a housewife now. everyday at home doing laundry. hahaha. oh wells

BUTBUT! the best thing abt this week it TML! TUES! TUES TUES TUES TUES! marks ONE YEAR! HUUZZAAAHHHHHH! :D YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY :D <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Sunday, November 28, 2010

A Rocket to the Moon

MY NEW CRAZE:)
i love the song so much:) the lyrics are just SO SO SWEET.

A Rocket To The Moon - Like We Used To (Acoustic)

I could feel her breath as she's sleeping next to me
Sharing pillows and cold feet
She can feel my heart; fell asleep to its beat
Under blankets and warm sheets
If only I could be in that bed again
If only it were me instead of him

Does he watch your favorite movies?
Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts?
When you've seen it a million times
Does he sing to all your music?
While you dance to purple rain
Does he do all these things?
Like I used to?

14 months and 7 days ago,
Oh I know you know how we felt about that night
Just your skin against the window
Oh we took it slow and we both know
It shoulda been me inside that car
It should have been me instead of him in the dark

Does he watch your favorite movies?
[- From :http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/a-rocket-to-the-moon-lyrics/like-we-used-to-lyrics.html -]
Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts?
When you've seen it a million times
Does he sing to all your music?
While you dance to purple rain
Does he do all these things?
Like I used to?

I know that love happens all the time, love
(I'm a sucker for that feeling)
You're on my mind, love
(I always end up feeling cheated)
And that happens all the time, love
(Oh darling, I know I'm not needed)

Will he love you like I loved you?
Will he tell you everyday?
Will he make you feel like your invincible
With every word he'll say
Can you promise me that this was right?
Don't throw it all away
Can you do all these things?
Will you do all these things?
Like we used to

Oh like we used to

haha. anyway. ALEVELS ENDING TML:)
freeedommmmm! haha. so i just need to look for a job now. hahaha. wanna work.

btw, crying for 3 days STRAIGHT. IS NO JOKE. i'm so super tired now.
i want a rocket to the moon too:P

Monday, June 14, 2010

Waiting.....

Sometimes I think I expect too much. But I guess I do that out of live. But shouldn't I be more accepting if it's out of love? Idk. This thoughts are frying my brain. Waiting. Have you ever sat there for a WHOLE day waiting for at least ONE msg? But hopes are dashed everytime. So I guess that leads me to keep thinking abt this. And leads to my frequent tossing and turning on the bed. I wish I didn't need to use my brain so much. It makes me really tired. So tired from waiting. So tired from thinking. So tired from worrying. So tired from trying not to think of it. So tired emotionally physicaly and doesn't really help me to study either. I hate myself.

While I understand there are many things that occur at the same time so cannot reply but it's torture! So naturally these thoughts will appear in my head. NOBODY'S FAULT. Mine at the most for being so overly sensitive abt the tiniest things. Which is absolutely STUPID. I am stupid to keep thinking abt it. Aiyar. Stupid dun wanna think abt it anymore. Will try not to but I doubt it.

Anyway, waiting for cool pics to be uploaded dun really feel like blogging.

Sometimes for no rhyme or reason I just need you; I guess that's why I hope so much. Too much until it turns into expectation. And that won't happen cause things u hope for doesn't usually come true. well, sometimes I just need you. For nothing. Nothing at all.

Saturday, June 05, 2010

i hate mugging

i hate mugging i really really HATE mugging. i'm so tired from mugging. sometimes there is so much to mug until idk HOW to start WHERE to start and WHAT to start w. got so many subjects it is just KILLING ME. omggggggggggggggg.

anyway, recently a lot fo things happened to me. like i fell, got terrible terrible cuts on my heels that makes it super difficult for me to walk, i'm like limping everwhere, go sleep also pain, dun dare to put my foot down properly on the bed. :(
but ahhh welllll! i hope i'll be fine by tml, cause tml cell grp day going ZOOOOO :D <3! and i have RED NAILS NOWWW :D <3! haha. and METALLIC PURPLE TOES. hahaha. thanks to0 CHANWEILING. haha. i've been spending a lot of time w her these days, cause i'm home most of the time studying. hahaha. and been listening to 98.7fm more often again. like everytime when i'm studying i cant really stand listening to the same few songs in my touch anymore, like sometimes i need something random. hahaha. and like also this week i've been so happy and so sad too, not to mention worried. and also tired and not to mention DRAINED. like totally, pulled apart and as if like everyone keeps expecting so much out of me. SIGH. and like i think honesty really either breaks or brings people closer right? i mean like, if its not meant to be, den honesty will simply break people apart, cause as corny as it sounds, the truth will definitely hurt. and it'll make or break relationships. lily dao shi told me this: tell the person in a nice and wisdom, out of love, not condemning:) choose right timing, right place, right person to tell :) the kep point is to pray first, may holy spirit tell when is the right time to let the person know, and put words of wisdom into your mouth. and be prepared to face the consequences with the person :) i'm glad i did and i'm glad the outcome was alright :)

anyways, imissyou!
another song i've fallen for :)

We'll Be a Dream - We The Kings ft. Demi Lovato
Do you remember the nights we
Stayed up just laughing.
Smiling for hours at anything
Remember the nights we
drove around crazy in love

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Likes its all we have
To hold onto and we'll be a dream

Do you remember the nights we
made our way dreaming
Hoping of being someone big,
we were so young then,
we were to crazy in love

When the lights go out
we'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Likes its all we have to hold on to
An we'll be a dream

(whoaaa ooooooooh)

When the lights out
(when the lights go out)
We'll be safe and sound.
(We'll be safe and sound)
Well take control of the world
Like its all we have to hold on to
And we'll be
(And we'll be)

And when the light go out.
(and when the light go out)
We'll be safe and sound,
we'll take control of the world
Like its all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SNACKS AT HOME?!?!

yes, why. why is there so much snacks! i'm so fat fat fat nowww! :(
anyway, must mug very hard mannnsss. but cant seem to sit still. hahahahaha. shall try my bestest. please pray for me:(
to be able to concentrate and do QT and study and stop eating so much. hahahahaha.

MY NEW FOUND FAVOURITE SONG:) thanks to CHANWEILING:D <3!

Kissin' You - Miranda Cosgrove
Sparks fly, it's like electricity
I might die when I forget how to breathe
You get closer and there is no where in this world I'd rather be
Time stops like everything around me is frozen
And nothing matters but these
Few moments when you open my mind to things I've never seen

'Cause when I'm kissin' u my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place, you're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissin' u
When I'm kissin' u it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one, should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin' u

Past loves, they never got really far
Walls of picture I've got in my heart
And I promised I wouldn't do this
Till I knew it was right for me
But no one, no guy that I met before
Could make me feel so right and secure
And have you noticed I lose my focus
And the world around me disappears

'Cause when I'm kissin' u my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place, you're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissin' u
When I'm kissin' u it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one, should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin' u

I've never felt nothing like this
You're making me open up
No point even trying to fight this
It kinda' feels like it's love

'Cause when I'm kissin' u my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place, you're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissin' u
When I'm kissin' u it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one, should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin' u

Sunday, May 23, 2010

you belong with me :)

You Belong To Me - Jason Wade(from lifehouse; for the soundtrack of shrek)
see the pyramids around the Nile
watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
just remember darling all the while -
you belong to me

see the marketplace in old Angier
send me photographs and souvenirs
just remember when a dream appears -
you belong to me

and I'll be so alone without you
maybe you'll be lonesome too

fly the ocean in a silver plane
see the jungle when it's wet with rain
just remember till you're home again -
you belong to me

oh I'll be so alone without you
maybe you'll be lonesome too

fly the ocean in a silver plane
see the jungle when it's wet with rain
just remember till you're home again -
you belong to me

its such a great song :)
anw, exmas are in less than a week, feel prepared but i know i wont really do as well as i want to so i just hope i might do well somehow.

so much stress and food = FAT FAT HUILUN.

anyways, shall end off with smth i learnt:)
relationships breeds problems and if you aren't willing to work hard for any relationship, it'll simply fail.

i'm glad mine won't :)

i found some really cute pictures online:)